FITZROY REDS 16.11. 107 def CAULFIELD GRAMMARIANS 4.3. 27 

Goalkickers: J.Weghorn 3, Rudd

Best Players: T.Hammond, W.Rudd, R.Saunders, J.Weghorn, A.Alibrando, N.Barbarczy

Ramsden St Oval for the clubbies on Saturday, a favourite  venue for the local dogs. Luckily this year the 200 Auskick kids pulverised all the doggie doo much to the relief of Isaac who was still scarred by the steaming pile on the forward flank V Monash.

A nice little sausage sizzle for the kids caught Tim Vohman out. Arriving home hours before game time, he thought he had found the last souvlaki available in Melbourne and was disappointed to be turned away minus the garlic sauce. No souv for you.

The visitors change rooms doubled as the auskick rooms and one helpful mum seemed in no hurry to leave. You’ve got your yummy mummy and your MILF but this was more of an OSCA (only a son could adore). Ben applied the customary 2km of tape and we were right to go.

Mark lasted but a short stint before assuming coaching duties which consisted of shuffling magnets and providing helpful advice to any Red’s player who wandered close to our bench. 

The umpiring was very good. They looked after the man in front, the man over the ball and most importantly the man over the hill.

Jimmy was prolific at CHF, Johnathon Brown meets Ashton Kutcher with locks that retained Demi/OSCA’s interest for the afternoon.

Barton, sporting a  conspicuous head band won a terrific clearance at CHF and burst through to launch a lovely kick to our half back line for a net 60m loss of ground , it was nice kick though. If you’re going to wear headbands or Kyle Reimer’s orange boots you cannot afford to stuff up. He took some lovely marks and tidied up across half back but all they remember is the kick the wrong way, true isn’t it Simon.

Saundo was busy around the ground but ventured forward with a hospital drop punt, Looking for Alibrando. Anthony was up to the task and made a mess of 3 Reds as he pumped it forward. Nic continued his Alastair Clarkson unsociable football on the wing whilst Ruddy played more of a Cameron Bruce, polite, but very good for dream team points until forced to leave with a busted snoz that is never very helpful on the Saturday night search.

Pittsy was excellent  and Brownie likes to see his name in the report, there it was. Fraze gave us some important linkage through the middle whilst the backs were determined under pressure. Andrew Vohman finished out of the votes, mainly because he was not allowed to vote this week following an investigation into the Monash count . Hammo meanwhile resorted to self inflicted gashes under the chin so he could wrap up Andrew Gaze style and ensure maximum sympathy points. There are only so many times this tactic will work Hammo.