The clubbies ventured to the old Camberwell  VFA ground to take on Old Scotch who have been kind enough to lose to us regularly in seasons past. Unfortunately the trend was to be reversed as they played some solid football with the usual blatant cheating including manning up in defence, having a coach etc.

A couple of familiar faces made their way around towards the rooms pre game and Shep felt a stir in his nether region as  Rob and Fish sauntered in . Both had immediate impact though it would appear Rob may have been on the Grant Hackett carbohydrate loading programme.  Perhaps not the only one as Farms also tried to upsize his shorts  pregame.

Couple of old faces in the scotch line up. Lacey was on song early before fatigue set in halfway through the first. He did well carrying what looked to be the hall of fame umpires camera stuffed down the front of his shirt. Dave Logan was also posted on a wing. Dave plays cricket with JD and had a huge summer with runs and wickets aplenty. Unfortunately the scotch jumper is not as flattering as the cricket whites. As he took off down the middle for a 4 bounce run in the final quarter, it reminded me of Pamela Anderson from the Baywatch intro – slow motion running with a couple of EE cups barely contained in a straining red top.  He did play a good game though I don’t anticipate many half volleys next season.

Patto has perfected the don’t argue executed with midriff rather than arm and is proving a difficult man to tackle when he gets up a head of steam. Saundo was enormous around the ground with bullocking ruck work and some power marking. Dave and Shep were miserly in defence and did well to limit their opponents.  Laurent was intense, very intense, I worry he will pop with intensity, he needs to breathe more.

Great game by the umpires. Consistent and accurate, and Colin made the correct decision on that goal despite some helpful advice from the crowd. But the big question is what exactly was half back flank Billy doing in our goal square anyway?  Gardie was not too impressed with the close checking of their centre half back, Tony Liberatore in Glenn Jakovich’s body. I think his single touch for the day was a smother that hit him in the back. He was constantly holding behind play so I ran him up in front of the umpire and told the umpire this bloke was so dumb he would still grab a jumper right in front of the man in white. I kid you not, within 30 seconds the obliging ump pinged him for holding again and it was hard to kick I was laughing so hard.

Nic was ferocious as ever on his wing whilst Paul Farmer showed there is no match for experience and tight shorts  as he constantly found space around the ground and in the air for some probing  helicopter punts. Tim Vohman got the Quentin Lynch award for marking 80 out and going back on the mark, back to the play, with absolute confidence. Once he did turn around and realise the enormity of the task, he quickly handballed to Hammo who coincidentally is also unable to kick 80m, and Scotch took the resultant free for on the full.

The Ice Cube melted after a brisk start as the Scotch coach ordered an angry limpet to shadow him for the afternoon. Isaac  managed to shake the tag eventually but it took a long time to get the bloke out of his car.

PK was desperate to get promoted to the ressies for next game  and run out with the shinboner of the century. If not selected he intends to suit up anyway and run out with the team, Peter Hoare style, with the video present.  Little does he know that new players must start with the clubbies and build their way up only if their performance warrants promotion, and we’ll be the judge of that. Half time darts and clubbies compression sessions, he’s going nowhere. Grass roots football at its finest.

Post game and the shower arrangements have improved dramatically with the refurb at K2. Bit strange that such a large shower area had only 3 showers though. 15 blokes stand around and watch 3 blokes sud up. Must be a Scotch thing. One of the neighbours kindly invited us over for afternoon tea on their nature strip and we had a quick bonding session to review outfits for the progressive dinner and of course for Fraze to talk up his illegal block. 

Well played Scotch, but the clubbies continue to improve and took quite a few positives from the game, as well as the cistern and a basin for Saundo’s renovation.