The young blokes were not sure whether to believe us about the brighton lighthouse that doubles as a ruckman but they were soon convinced. To our boys credit, I reckon we broke even in the ruck duels and a bit more game time together will help meld the midfield unit. We made the ruck duels a bit of fun with the advice that its just like jumping into a big tackle bag that complains when you hit it.

I looked nervously around for PK who had earlier received  vague directions whilst I juggled Tara and the shopping : on south road, just over Nepean highway near Milanos and the beach, the beach Paul. 20 years of driving to these grounds and the car just seems to find its own way there. At this point PK was trying all the mobiles that were already switched off and was driving around  the Dendy Park ovals searching for some blue and white love.

We got underway and similar to last week we were competitive early before the fitness factor came to the fore in the second quarter. PK was busy around the grounds with visits to Stilitoe reserve, Simpson reserve and Castlefield reserve.

The injuries began mounting and the Terry Wallace extended bench was looking attractive.  Mind you Brownie going off for a leg wax  was overdoing it a bit. Unfortunately the greedy twos had  already snaffled all the fittest and finest as well as Simon Thompson.

Meanwhile after a final tour including Peterson St reserve, Dane road reserve and Victory park, PK was relaxed at home with a cool one leaving nasty messages on my mobile.

Farrel was industrious around the middle, Shaun was racking up possessions  in the guts but the cash cow Sultan was a bit like Hill in my dreamtime, looked the goods in recent games  but not enough possessions this round. Both have been firmly spoken to. Nick was a little less angry than his last game on this ground and carved up his wing. Saundo did very well as a big forward target and then with stints in the ruck.

Following a brighton behind and with the ball rolling down South Rd, Shep called out to a trio of Brighton blondes –

 “Hey girls, do me a favour”.

 “And then grab the ball” came the predictable follow up.

Shep’s funny when he blushes.

Simon copped a don’t argue and went to ground. This was no Brian Lake fake injury as he handed over the kick and went to the bench for a nice cold compress and chamomile tea. Simon did much better this week and every one of his kicks went towards our goals. Small steps.

POS  was providing a big target at CHF. A little bit of Tomahawk in the lad and will benefit from the run. A little bit of Gulliver too as several brighton defenders struggled to bring him to ground.  The other u one nines were finding their feet and started playing with more confidence as the game progressed. Shep and Dave were stoic in defence but both suffered sunburn on the roof of their mouths as the goals were peppered.

One of their angrier backline players was running the water and was dishing some advice to Vohman. With the innocence of youth, he gave the waterboy a  playful tap on both cheeks and ran away oblivious to the Brighton players tackling the water boy keen on some Barry Hall style retribution.

It looks a one sided affair on paper but the signs were good and as we regain some of the tardy starters we will start to produce some better results, yes you, Rob Morrison.  The main problem was lack of adherence to Shep’s game plan, which was to kick more goals than they did. Subtly simple yet effective if followed.

Post match, Shep then decided he is a crap judge  and Simon had apparently grown tired of writing his own name down in the votes so he came up with a new system with which to ease a guilty conscience. Each player gave their 3-2-1 and the votes were tallied. A keen student of international politics, Hammo relished the Mugabe style election,  and found himself with 54 BOG’s  even though only 22 cast a vote. Hopeful of snaring some votes from the first round, he also noted King Gyanendra from Nepal who is demanding a second vote after losing the initial election. Pressed for comment Mick Malthouse expressed his displeasure at young Brown being overlooked yet again.

After game refreshments at Milanos and we were treated to Brownies recollection of accidentally walking in his mates sister whilst she was in the shower. When I say accidentally he managed to spot her on his third try. The footy lesson here gentlemen is persistence.

Recruiting wise Shep bumped into a couple of old stalwarts down at Elsternwick Park and initially tried to talk a few of them out of retirement before realising they would make size 38 shorts look like an LZR swimsuit.  Joffa is interested and promises to kick Wahn goal, this is Joffa talk for lots of goals but don’t hold your breath. Joff has been solely responsible for the survival of several  Victorian tattoo parlours since his retirement from football and entry into several  bands you are unlikely to have heard of.